5. L.Bear-Can-I-Come?
It was the timing that annoyed. You rush to get ready to go out; taxi booked, bits-and-pieces in a shoulder-bag, spectacles located, and coats struggled into. Then it comes in that clear but excited voice of Bear’s – “can I come”. It didn’t matter where we were going or how inappropriate having a bear with you might be. The timing was perfect and the high-pitch of the voice set in such a way as to place maximum guilt on Marvella and I. It took nerves-of-steel to refuse, which is why we almost always gave-in immediately.
It wasn’t so bad if you could explain to Bear why he couldn’t come with us, but sometimes this was difficult. How would you convey to him that visiting a sex-club was inappropriate for bears, he wouldn’t understand what was going-on, and wouldn’t like it anyway? We obfuscated – saying we were going to a place where humans do very human things, and bears would not be welcome. He accepted this, and thought he’d get to know about this later, alongside all the other strange things humans did. No need to rush.
Or going to work – bears don’t really do this, and there are always a few colleagues who don’t “get” a bear popping-out of a bag unexpectedly, introducing himself with the friendly words “I’m little-bear and in finance, what do you do?” Alpha-males and bosses in general found this particularly difficult, especially if they replied “I’m Maxine”, and managing-partner for E&Y, to which Little-Bear would immediately reply “are you sure, you look more like you’re in illegal waste-disposal”. This seldom went-down-well, though I did try-it-out a couple of times. Actually, Maxine was an exceptional boss who immediately understood the dynamic. She didn’t make-much of it, just continued as normal – all professional. Damn.
On the other side, Little-Bear/human interactions went very well. For example, him waving to smiley-people, like Lindi-St.Clair coming in-or-out of her premises on Eardley-Crescent in our Earl’s-Court days. Or joining us on cycle-rides to the Amsterdam-woods, him riding with Marvella in the front-panier overlooking the handle-bars and waving to toddlers-and-their mums who were doing the exact-same-thing. Or overlooking Rome from the hills a German-bear popping-out of a lady’s handbag and entering a long conversation with Little-Bear. Difficult – Little-Bear doesn’t speak German and the German-bear spoke little English. No matter – they communicated quite well. Or in an Amsterdam coffee-shops where Little-Bear could try-out his Dutch to an appreciative audience. He was/is far more ready “to give it a go” than Marvella or I ever were.
The same was true when we made our business-trips. Bear was a real-plus to have-around on these assignments which could last weeks and be in many different countries and continents. During the week he would welcome you back from an intense day, and I liked him describing what he and Marvella had also done that day. Then of course came “what are we going to do tonight?”. Sometimes it was the Italian or Indian, or stay in the hotel with him and some sandwiches from room-service.
The weekends would be more fun as we could plan something special. A trip to the zoo, an afternoon on a boat, or visiting towns nearby the city. One word of warning about India. If you do go to a wild-life park beware of the elephants. One of them, an African elephant for some reason, almost got hold of bear. The elephant’s trunk swiftly attacked from the back, and was just about to grab him from behind. Whether it thought he was a cabbage or some hidden fruit I don’t know, but just be careful with your bear in close-proximity with elephants. You have been warned! (we always strive to give you the best practical advice, here at agdresearch.com).
Everything with bear and the outside-world was going pretty-much OK. There were generally very positive conversations between Little-Bear and others, both animals and humans, with perhaps the occasional “hiccup” with alpha-types. Bear would always hold-his-own, and if this caused the occasional embarrassment for the alpha-type, then “tough-cheese” to them – Bear was in business and could handle himself. That is until the John-Lewis incident, where everything broke-down.
For those of you who don’t know John-Lewis is an upmarket department-store-brand with shops in the major UK cities, including the one in Edinburgh where it all happened. They have excellent cafes and the one in Edinburgh has fantastic views over the Firth-of-Forth on which the city is located. Actually, Leith is the port onto the firth and is hard-and-raw compared to Edinburgh’s “genteelness”, but the towns merge into one-another. Best not to conflate the two in conversation as they have historic tensions between each-other.
The incident started innocently enough. There the three of us were, next to the window with a magnificent view over Leith and the firth. Marvella as planned left after a few minutes to do some more shopping leaving me with Bear. All very normal and something we had done a hundred times-before. After a few minutes a lady sat down diagonally-opposite me. I gave her a casual look and she fitted the mould of middle-age, middle-class tourist. I didn’t really need any subtle people-watching observations to establish this as she brought-out a tourist guide with city maps. Sherlock-Holmes would have been satisfied, so no need to discuss things with his statue in the square below.
The incident started innocently enough. There the three of us were, next to the window with a magnificent view over Leith and the firth. Marvella as planned left after a few minutes to do some more shopping leaving me with Bear. All very normal and something we had done a hundred times-before. After a few minutes a lady sat down diagonally-opposite me. I gave her a casual look and she fitted the mould of middle-age, middle-class tourist. I didn’t really need any subtle people-watching observations to establish this as she brought-out a tourist guide with city maps. Sherlock-Holmes would have been satisfied, so no need to discuss things with his statue in the square below.
Instead of “nice day”, or “do you live here in Edinburgh?” came an urgent “are you alright?”. Her look, her tone, and the “are you alright?” itself telegraphed her thoughts. She had assembled in her mind a compelling explanation of what she saw before her: I was a psychiatric patient on a day-out with his nurse who had been away too long leaving him with his “care-bear” to comfort him! The cheek of it, hadn’t she seen a man and his bear before? All perfectly normal. And then I froze.
All I could come out with was a meek “yes, I’m waiting for my good-lady”. This seemed enough to be an adequate holding situation, but she obviously didn’t entirely believe me. What do you do – say-more, say-less, say-nothing? I chose say say-nothing, and we spent the rest of our time swopping glances until she got-up, said goodbye and went. I did not reply as I was still in shock.
Marvella thought it was hilarious when she returned, and reminded me she did say she was going to the bank. She then made it worse by suggesting Bear get back into his bag when this happened next, but hell, why should Bear hide-away like that. Then it dawned on me. It was Little-Bear himself who was at fault by not defending me. It should have been like the three-musketeers – “all for one and one for all”. Bear had let me down, I looked at him and he said “well, it was funny, wasn’t it”, followed by “I didn’t want to interfere”. I reluctantly agreed.
So, we agreed then to support each other in public, which in this case meant Bear would have immediately given his usual, useful reply to the lady’s question. The plan was that Bear in similar circumstances would reply “his nurse will be back in a minute, but don’t worry – he’s not dangerous”. I advise you to follow the same strategy with any animal you possess, and protect yourself from members of the international-bond of busy-bodies of which the lady was obviously a leading member.